By the heart's deceit and guile I have been so discomfited that I am left unable (even) to lament.
من ز دستان و ز مکر دل چنان ** مات گشتم که بماندم از فغان
Who am I? Heaven, with its hundred (mighty) businesses, cried out for help against this ambush of free-will,
من که باشم چرخ با صد کار و بار ** زین کمین فریاد کرد از اختیار
Saying, “Deliver me from this pillory of free-will, O gracious and long-suffering Lord!
که ای خداوند کریم و بردبار ** ده امانم زین دو شاخهی اختیار
The one-way pull on the straight Path is better than the two ways of perplexity, O gracious One.
جذب یک راههی صراط المستقیم ** به ز دو راه تردد ای کریم
Although Thou art the entire (only) goal of these two ways, yet indeed this duality is agonising to the spirit.205
زین دو ره گرچه همه مقصد توی ** لیک خود جان کندن آمد این دوی
Although the destination of these two ways is unto Thee alone, yet the battle is never like the banquet.”
زین دو ره گرچه به جز تو عزم نیست ** لیک هرگز رزم همچون بزم نیست
Hearken to the explanation thereof given by God in the Qur’án, (namely) the Verse they shrank from bearing it.
در نبی بشنو بیانش از خدا ** آیت اشفقن ان یحملنها
This perplexity in the heart is like war: (when a man is perplexed he says, “I wonder) whether this is better for my case or that.”
این تردد هست در دل چون وغا ** کین بود به یا که آن حال مرا
In perplexity the fear (of failure) and the hope of success are always in conflict with each other, (now) advancing and (now) retreating.
در تردد میزند بر همدگر ** خوف و اومید بهی در کر و فر
A prayer and a seeking refuge with God from the temptation of free-will and from the temptation of those things that minister to free-will; for the heavens and the earths dreaded and feared free-will and the things that minister to it, while the nature of Man is addicted to seeking free-will and all that ministers to his free-will; as (for example) if he is sick he feels himself to have little free-will and desires health, which ministers to free-will, in order that his free-will may be increased; and he desires high office in order that his free-will may be increased. And it was excess of free-will and of whatever ministers to it that caused the wrath of God to fall upon the peoples of the past. No one ever saw Pharaoh destitute.
مناجات و پناه جستن به حق از فتنهی اختیار و از فتنهی اسباب اختیار کی سماوات و ارضین از اختیار و اسباب اختیار شکوهیدند و ترسیدند و خلقت آدمی مولع افتاد بر طلب اختیار و اسباب اختیار خویش چنانک بیمار باشد خود را اختیار کم بیند صحت خواهد کی سبب اختیارست تا اختیارش بیفزاید و منصب خواهد تا اختیارش بیفزاید و مهبط قهر حق در امم ماضیه فرط اختیار و اسباب اختیار بوده است هرگز فرعون بینوا کس ندیده است
From Thee first came this ebb and flow within me; else, O glorious One, this sea (of mine) was still.210
اولم این جزر و مد از تو رسید ** ورنه ساکن بود این بحر ای مجید
From the same source whence Thou gavest me this perplexity, graciously (now) make me unperplexed likewise.
هم از آنجا کین تردد دادیم ** بیتردد کن مرا هم از کرم
Thou art afflicting me. Ah, help (me), O Thou by whose affliction men are (made weak) as women.
ابتلاام میکنی آه الغیاث ** ای ذکور از ابتلاات چون اناث
How long (will) this affliction (continue)? Do not (afflict me), O Lord! Bestow on me one path, do not make me follow ten paths!
تا بکی این ابتلا یا رب مکن ** مذهبیام بخش و دهمذهب مکن
I am (like) an emaciated camel, and my back is wounded by my free-will which resembles a pack-saddle.
اشتریام لاغری و پشت ریش ** ز اختیار همچو پالانشکل خویش
At one moment this pannier weighs heavily on this side, at another moment that pannier sags to that side.215
این کژاوه گه شود این سو گران ** آن کژاوه گه شود آن سو کشان
Let the ill-balanced load drop from me, that I may behold the meadow of the pious.
بفکن از من حمل ناهموار را ** تا ببینم روضهی ابرار را
(Then), like the Fellows of the Cave, I shall browse on the orchard of Bounty— not awake, nay, they are asleep.
همچو آن اصحاب کهف از باغ جود ** میچرم ایقاظ نی بل هم رقود
I shall recline on the right or on the left, I shall not roll save involuntarily, like a ball,
خفته باشم بر یمین یا بر یسار ** برنگردم جز چو گو بیاختیار
Just as Thou, O Lord of the Judgement, turnest me over either to the right or to the left.
هم به تقلیب تو تا ذات الیمین ** یا سوی ذات الشمال ای رب دین
Hundreds of thousands of years I was flying (to and fro) involuntarily, like the motes in the air.220
صد هزاران سال بودم در مطار ** همچو ذرات هوا بیاختیار
If I have forgotten that time and state, (yet) the migration in sleep (to the spiritual world) recalls it to my memory.
گر فراموشم شدست آن وقت و حال ** یادگارم هست در خواب ارتحال
(Every night) I escape from this four-branched cross and spring away from this (confined) halting-place into the (spacious) pasture of the spirit.
میرهم زین چارمیخ چارشاخ ** میجهم در مسرح جان زین مناخ
From the nurse, Sleep, I suck the milk of those bygone days of mine, O Lord.
شیر آن ایام ماضیهای خود ** میچشم از دایهی خواب ای صمد
All the (people in the) world are fleeing from their free-will and (self-)existence to their drunken (unconscious) side.
جمله عالم ز اختیار و هست خود ** میگریزد در سر سرمست خود
In order that for awhile they may be delivered from sobriety (consciousness), they lay upon themselves the opprobrium of wine and minstrelsy.225
تا دمی از هوشیاری وا رهند ** ننگ خمر و زمر بر خود مینهند